Beware of the sexy pirates

Yesterday was soccer practice for my under-6 team. This means that I got to play soccer with 8 kids of either 4 or 5 years old. At this level we mainly practice ball control, basic flow of the game (like when to throw the ball in, how to do a kick-off and when to do a goal kick), and mainly play a bit. The second half of every practice is a scrimmage because otherwise you find yourself fighting their attention spans and because nothing teaches the game like playing the game.

When we scrimmage I ask my co-coach or one of the parents to coach half the kids and I coach the other half. The first thing we parents do is help the kids pick the name for their team o’ the day. So yesterday I got down on one knee and said to three boys and my oldest daughter “What should our name be for today?”. Usually when i ask this question the boys answer with Sharks, Pirates, Dragons, or Ninjas and the girls answer with either Flowers, Cookies, Fish, or the name of a color. We’ve played many games as the Flower Sharks, which satisfies both constituencies. Yesterday, though I got an answer that I’ve never heard before. Yesterday, little 4-year old Charlie answered “I know, how about the Sexy Ass Pirates?” To which I replied “How about the Yellow Dragons?”

Now I’m not really sure whether it was Sexy-ass Pirates or the Sexy Ass-pirates. It didn’t really matter which and I wasn’t going to ask. And I wasn’t about to run up and down the field for 20 minutes hollering “Way to go Sexy Ass Pirates” at the top of my lungs and in front of all the other coaches, parents and a couple of random dog-walkers. That sort of thing simply isn’t done in AYSO soccer.

Luckily for me I had thought up a name before I asked the question so I could toss out my alternative without much discussion. The kids took me up on my suggestion and we took off to defeat those dastardly Green Gecko Kitten-Bees on the other side. We just called them the GGKB’s for economy purpose.

As far as I know, no one heard Charlie’s suggestion and I intend to keep it that way. I think we all know that if you make too much of a random Sexy Ass Pirate he’s bound to stick around for longer than if you just ignored him. It does make you wonder, though, if that’s what Charlie’s pirates are like, what about his pirate wenches?

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4 Comments on “Beware of the sexy pirates”

  1. Erika Says:

    Good crikey, where does a 4 year old hear something like that… When my sisters were little and played soccer, they always wanted variations on the Fairy Princess Rainbow Brite Pony theme.

  2. Erika Says:

    And fix your time zone man, it most definitely is not 4:59pm right now!

  3. tpmcgee Says:

    My guess is that Charlie’s mom is a big Johnny Depp fan and made some remark like “Boy that Johnny Depp is one sexy ass pirate”. I think you can relate, E

  4. Erika Says:

    I can relate to the Johnny Depp part, but saying ‘ass’ in front of my kids? I wouldn’t even say ‘sexy’!


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